Dark of Night

I look to the time that has gone by. I’ve loved once, been love never.

I ask myself how could this be? Living a life where I feel empty in the way that matters most to me.

So now my walls are high, feeling set aside.

I don’t know how to be loved, is this a feeling that should be thought as you grow.

I feel it’s what you’ve been shown, I grew up in a home where love was not given, no hugs, no kiss, no job well done.

I long for it, I want it, I dream of it!

An undying yarn for someone to share myself with, it often clouds my judgement on what’s real!

Love is lost for me I believe, how can one so full of passion be Destin to live a life without it?

So I walk throughout life alone never thinking of what could be.

I gave up on love or being loved by another sadly. I fear there is no knight in shining armour in my future.

So in the dark of night, I am alone! I live without what matters most to me.

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Black Panther

Today I was taken over by emotion, I saw the trailer for Black Panther. It’s was such an emotional feeling to see Black people highlighted at such magnitude. I could not be more proud of this. Crying like a baby I don’t know how I can sit in the theatre, people may think I’ve lost my mind. I can’t even control the way I’m feeling for the entirety of the trailer. I see this in a time where race issues are on the rise in all levels.

Seems we are living in reverse, sadly our state wants to separate us again. People seem to turn a blind eye to this. We are under the lead of an administration that promotes ignorance and Extreme racism. Allowing people to flaunt there arrogant views on other races and wealth status. Has true integrity fallen by the waist side?

There is so much to gain by the empowerment of people of all races, cultures, and class status. We as people all people should stand against the promotion of ignorance. Tomorrow is a new day it’s time to rely on each other and grow.

In this moment I’m proud to be a black woman! I believe it’s okay to be proud of who you are, but not okay to believe you are better than others because of what you believe you are!

I hope that everyone goes to see this movie not only because it’s black but because of it something representing change! That we are all good enough! We all can do all things remember we are all Gods children. From different branches of the tree but we are all equal in his sight!

The Thief in the Night!!!

Like a thief in the night, they call wanting!

Wanting what I ask myself?

Telling lie after lie of bullshit, just too pleased themselves.

The power is what they seek!

Power over whom, the women who want the same.

I can see through you, you can feel it too This I am sure of.

Common thieves living among us,  wanting nothing and everything at the same time.

Be careful of the modern day thief, they only come for self-gain and to decrease your value.

They come in all shapes, sizes, and races!

Usually handsome or appealing in some way, a common thief here only for your goods.

Some are so good you don’t see them coming, disguise by intelligent conversation and wit.

Giving you the allure of something new and fresh, lifting themselves to seem like a gentleman.

If only his motives were evenly matching.

A thief in the night, the modern day Vampire out for pussy…

https://youtu.be/EJ6QylmIYDw

A glance

Looking into his eyes you can see the direction of his future, in a way he has yet to see for himself.

Looking at the motions his hands make while in thought, you can see the creations he will one day be capable of.

Looking at the softness of his lips you can see the way his words will inspire others to their greatness.

Looking over his shoulder you see the weight that he carries as he Transcends into who is Destinto be.

Looking at the way he walks and sees his true stature as the king he will be, for he is still a prince.

Listening to his words as they flow across his tongue, you hear how he will guide your children with confidence.

Looking into his chest you see the heart of a man who will have the world at his feet.

Looking to him as King in his own right!

The Market!

Should I put myself back on the market…? Your first attraction is based on what you physically like about a person. (This I mean if you don’t know them) Oh… it’s this next step really annoys me, that getting to know step of hell. I wish we could omit this part by some type of application that links us together in the internet world, however; this is not possible. Due to the fact I have to come up with it yet! Truth: I don’t want to to go through the awkward moments of whether or not you like to go to the beach or what kind of food you eat, I’m ready to be fully aware of likes and dislikes, skip all of this. wishing I could skip all of this pre-relationship bullcrap. Getting right to honey can you pass the remote, you’ll pick up me something from the store on your way home. The comfortableness of a real relationship… Some women have these ridiculous lists of things they require from men, but all of them are kinda of robotic they forget about the man who will rub your back when it’s hurting, love them when they have gained weight far beyond the measure that most men would even allow. A man that would take in your family after they’ve lost everything. The childish masquerades of texting then not are what life has given us due to overly fake behaviour! I think that women focus on the wrong things more often than not. This stupid childish behaviour seems to have altered the way men respond to women altogether. So I just don’t know if putting yourself on the market a good thing or should you just lay low?

 

All though I must admit I’m kind of #dope

Better

I don’t understand how this new world works… I want something different but I can’t seem to find it! It’s almost like it doesn’t exist anymore. I ask myself why it this? Do men not see me as worthy? They lie to protect, who? They need to be honest with me is true. This seems to be an impossibility, that modern-day relationships are unobtainable. Am I doomed to be single for the rest of my life? I must say that this is the most challenging and upsetting Journey.

Okay so I dated a man who was supposedly married, he lied about it, telling me that they were friends because of the child only. Was it my heart that played the fool on me, I knew all along that he was lying?(PROBABLY) I want love and they want to be admired. I don’t understand how this new world works, I tell you not my field of expertise! I want something different but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. It’s almost like it doesn’t exist anymore. I ask myself “why is this?”

So let’s fast-forward just a bit to the now! I’ve met someone new he’s amazing he’s tall, he’s handsome to say the least, skinny like I prefer a man to be, but most of all he’s single. I’m no good at dating, never have been. Looking for something long-term is so hard at this time. For the first time is different. This man I crave him I long for his attention. Listen to me… This man a Haitian man btw, beautiful rather remarkable in a way. There’s a part I forgot to tell you I’ve had a crush on him for almost 4years. “I know long time” (RIGHT) I must say I think that my mind is a little different than most. Beauty is so different it is not only physical but it’s is an emotion, a way of life something that is in our souls. But for the first time in my life, I feel at ease and completely comfortable in my skin. How can a person make you feel that way you ask. The way that his lips move when he’s speaking to me; although I can barely hear the words because I’m so caught up in the moment. The way his body moves, so gracefully it’s like he’s aware of his meaning, his confidence is through the roof. The way that he touches me. The way he’s Whispers run up my spine. Like Lauryn Hill said, “kiss on the collarbone”. (How could this be) In these moments you start to realize that maybe I’ve been focused on the wrong thing.

Okay so let’s rewind now. Back to the first story… So to the guy who pretends to love me and the woman that he cries on his side. I see you both as sad and insignificant. A woman who craves the man who loves many others and a man who will never love her truly, because he is insure himself. I’m glad to be rid of the situation and I wish you all the best in your misery together!